OPEN LETTER TO MY FUTURE DAUGHTER

I was thinking about the world we live in today. The world in which girls exaggerate in feminism, because in my opinion there is really not a big problem if I can feel like a lady next to my man. Feel free to hold a door for me or a chair so that I can sit down. A feminist in me won't be offended. This world is one in which men have forgotten how to be men and gentlemen. It seems to me that somehow the roles of men and women changed beyond recognition, I sometimes don't know if this is good or bad. I look at my younger cousin struggling with relationship problems with her boyfriend who doesn't know how to behave like a man, and therefore, he doesn't know how to treat her like a lady. I tried to give her advice, but she doesn't listen. And why should she? She must make her own mistakes to learn the rules of the game of life and love. To be honest, in her age I didn't listen to anyone either. Then I asked myself: "What if one day I had a daughter?"

I was thinking about the issue, because I was curious how will she cope with these problems and with life in general? I've been thinking a bit about what I'd like for her to know and I finally found the answer to these questions. So therefore, this is a public letter to my future daughter.

My darling,

Never, ever say "never" - Because with that statement at the same time you are challenging God and destiny. It's like in the movies when they say in despair: "Can it be worse?" And then something worse happens. You never know where life can take you, what is out there waiting for you and the things you think now you wouldn't do, doesn't mean that you won't want or need to do them in a few months.

What you can't change, endure! - You'll understand in time sweetie, you can't control everything in life. Sometimes things get out of control and that's quite okey. In such moments sit, make yourself coffee, eat bunch of chocolate, sing your favorite song, breathe deeply and believe that everything will turn out well. Let your life happen to you and have a little faith.

Do not let broken heart break down your spirit! – It is the question of time, but you certainly won't be able to prevent it. All of us get our heart broken by someone at least once in life. If you're lucky just once. Your mother was a jinx so she had to deal with broken heart three times, but there you go, I survived. I know you'll be in on the emotional roller coaster in those moments but the main key to survival is too not allow the pain to break your spirit. Don't let the pain define you , because you're not weak, because I raised you. And like my mom said to me long time ago, in our blood line, there is no weak woman.

Time really cures all! -Okey, I know this sounds corny, but it really is so. Am not saying that you will forget that asshole who hurt you, because you won't, but it will hurt less. Will remain a scar and may sometimes hurts like any wound from time to time, only this type of wound hurts when you hear or see something that reminds you on that war you survived, but the intensity is not the same. Give yourself time and trust me, you'll be fine.

Love yourself just the way you are - This is the most important thing I wanted you to learn. You're beautiful, strong, worth a lot and don't let no one says it's different. While growing up, I will try to teach you that but later on, you need to observe these lesson and never doubt in it. You can do everything if you put some effort in it.

If someone doesn't deserve you, leave immediately! - If you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't fight for you, and who doesn't value you and doesn't love you the way you deserve, if you're with someone who wants you to change, and who doesn't support you, turn around and leave, no turning back. Learn how to respect yourself enough to know when you deserve better.

Related to this previously, this follows -if he can live without you, you can live without him too! - Very simply, who doesn't need you, you don't need him either.

Carefully choose your battles and wars! - It will be lots of battles and wars in life, some you get and some you lose and it's okey. But sometimes you need to know when to give up, when someone or something is not worth your struggle nor your time. Carefully pick your battles sweetie. Sometimes even being in peace is more worth then being right.

ALWAYS be nice! - Everyone has their battles and their problems. Someone doesn't know how to hide them and keep them so that others can see, and some of them hide problems behind a big smile. In any case, always be nice, always smile when you meet some friend, because you never know, maybe your smile can make someone's day.

Don't judge people! –You don't know why somebody did what he did. You never know what internal battles that person leads and don't know his reasons. What I have learned that not everything is as it seems, is not all black or white, sometimes there is a little bit of gray color too. Only when you walk the miles in someones shoes, then you might be able to understand his actions and reasons, and until then don't judge.

Happiness really is a matter of choice! - It is not nobody's business to make you happy, happiness is a matter of choice and it is on you. Problems don't define you as a person, but how are you dealing with them does. The problems and obstacles that you find in life build character and don't hide from them, deal with them. But no matter what if you know how to look in the right direction, you will found reasons to be happy. Just because you have a roof over your head, you're not thirsty, not hungry and do not walk barefoot, you're alive and well and have a family that loves you is a good reason to be happy! Happiness is in the detail, in small and seemingly unimportant things. Things that we usually take for granted. Go out with a friend, gossip a little, it is a cure for everything. There is you luck.

Do not neglect your friends! I believe you'll sometimes be so madly in love that you want to be just with him, but resist it. Don't neglect life you built before him and friends who love you. The life is an important balance. Find the way to keep that balance. Because guys come and go, but friends remain with you trough life.

If you have at least one true friend, you're happy! Life can be tough sometimes, but in such times if you have one friend, one sincere friend that if you would say you killed a man, she/he would have asked where and take a shovel and start digging with you, if you find that one friend who knows all the best and worst in you and still loves you and keeps your back no matter what, know that you are lucky. And take care of that friendship.

You'll have people in life that you are not blood related, and yet they will be your family! Or at least I hope it will happen to you. Because you see my darling, there will be friends in your life that will be just like your family even though you don't share the same DNA.

Educated, finish college, CREATE YOUR LIFE! - Do not rush into marriage, all in good time. Go to school, live your student days. In order to be a good wife and mother, first you have to establish yourself as a person and you have to stand on your feet. Be happy with yourself, with what you achieve, and then you will be able to settle down with one person you choose.

Learn from your mistakes! Don't be afraid to make a mistake. How are you going to learn differently? Anyway, in the end, when all this is over, mistakes become the best memories.

When you make some decisions, do not make them hasty! I want you to understand that every decision you make, you have to live with it for the rest of your life. So be careful that the final decision is one with which you will be able to live without regret and without looking back.

Do not take life too seriously! - I know, sometimes it is impossible, sometimes things have to be taken seriously, serious as a heart attack, but don't forget to relax from time to time, enjoy a little. Anyway, none of us will make it alive from this world anyway.

AND FINALLY, THE LAST BUT NOT LESS IMPORTANT - Know that no matter what, at any of your mistakes, decisions, know that I will always love you unconditionally. Even if I don't agree with your decision, I will respect them and be your support because I will believe in you even when you are full of doubt.

With love,

Your future mom.