BAD GIRL VS GOOD GIRL!

So I have one friend who is one of those you call good girls. She is always careful about not doing anything wrong, to not insult anyone, not to curse. I swear that girl has some aura around her. She is 21 years old, younger 4 years then me, and I can't remember one day when she did something wrong, I can't remember when bad word went trough her mouth. She has never been in any trouble in her entire life. So all in all she is every contrast of me. :)

Even to this day I do some shit stuff, my whole life is messy and full of mistakes and rule breaking, but I swear I love every part of it. I did some good things that am proud of, and then again, some that am not. I broke hearts, but then again people broke mine too. I curse, I hate when someone tells me what I can't do and that is why most of my childhood I was in trouble, including puberty.
I help everyone when I can, I really have good intention but I am only human and am not even trying to hide my mistakes. They are part of me.

So I asked her what a hell is she doing with her life? Why is she so scared to live it how ever she wants it, and not how her parents and other people want?
When I asked her that she just put her head down and I can see that my words got to her.
I asked what are you afraid off?
She said that she is afraid to disappoint her family.
I felt so sorry for her. I mean even though they had tough time with me, but I always knew my parents love me and support me no matter what screw ups I do.
So I asked her isn't she afraid to disappoint herself? To wake up one day and realize that she has been living everyone else life and dreams just not hers?
She just nodded.
I hugged her and I told her that her life will pass her by living in a fear.
Latter that night she texted me and just one word was in that text. It said: "Karma?"
I asked her what about karma?
And she is like when you do something wrong, make mistakes, won't karma hit you and return every mistake you make?
I thought about it before I answer it, and yeah I said. Probably karma will hit you no matter what you do, but you know what I asked?
And she is like: "What?"
And I texted her: "It is worth it!"
She just answer with smiling face.

I was honesty hoping that helped her a bit, so that she can take control over her life before it is to late.
Because no matter of karma, everything I did wrong and good, I would do it again. Because even though it is good to play by the rules, but just sometimes, it feels sooooo good to be bad. :)

So she went her all life by the book, and I went trough mine breaking all the rules that I could.
And you know what?
In the end, I had much more fun then she had and I have so much good memories.
And I don't regret even one single screwed up mistake I did, no matter of price I payed for it.
It is mine, and I did it my way. :)
Anyway, bad decisions sometimes make the best stories.

WHAT IF??

I was thinking about life in general. About choices we make every day. About paths we never took, and the ones we do choose. What makes us go left instead of the right? What makes us go back instead of moving forward or the other way around?
I was thinking about all those plans we make and never lived to see them becoming reality, about the things we didn't think it is possible to happen, but they happened anyway.
I heard from someone that every choice that we make, even small one like where will we go to take our coffee, every single choice we make in day leads us to our destiny.
So by that definition, every mistake is really not a mistake. It is just some lesson we need to learn so that we can go one step forward. I know that life is full of ups and downs, but if every one of us has its own path and destiny, so in that sense we can't make a mistake, can we?
We can't make wrong choice, because they are no wrong choices. We call it mistake and wrong decision because it didn't worked out like we wanted it to work.

But just because it didn't go as we wanted it doesn't mean it didn't turn out exactly like it was supposed to.
I know it is in a human nature to worry. To think like five steps ahead, but what if we would just live in the moment? Because in this moment right now, we make our future.
Every decision we make this day, in these moments will shape our future and shape us as a person.
What if we don't have to know what will happen five mounts from now or even tomorrow?
What if we don't have to know where will we be, or what will we be doing or with whom?
What if all we have is right here and right now? This moment. This day. Because we never know what can happen tomorrow, and we don't have to. Because tomorrow will take care of itself when time comes.
What if we would just breath, be in this moment and take a leap of faith?
What if we would just trust our journey even thought we sometimes don't understand it?
What if we would just trust ourselves? That we made it trough so far, and we can make it trough
what ever is coming next.
What if we would just stop worrying about things that didn't even happen yet?
What if we would just let our life happen to us?