Wednesday, September 21, 2016

BURDEN ON YOUR BACK

Lets be honest. Everyone of us have its own problems and stuff that they are dealing with on daily basis. Everyone has its own burden that in some days it is too heavy and in some days we manage to forget about it at least for few hours. Mainly that is a difference between good and bad days I guess.
The most lucky of us have someone in their life, friend, lover of family that helps us with that problems, helps us carry that burden and somehow it all gets easy. Yeah, some of us are really lucky. I know I am.


But then I was thinking about all the problems I think I have and the ones I actually have. I realized that sometimes I make problems where there aren't any. Thinking ahead of time, in future and in my mind I already made like 10 problems that might happen but still didn't and as far as I can tell, that is more heavy to bear then actual problems I have now. At this moment.
Then I read some articles about living in a moment, in present and I think to myself: "Yeah, easier said then done!".
Because my mind doesn't work that way. I mean I always think ahead. I know that it is not good for me, but hey, chocolate isn't good for me either, but I still eat it. :)


Over the years I manage to slow my mind down, to get ahead of it. I do breathing techniques, I do yoga and that really helps. My mind gets quite a bit.

But back to the point. Let me ask you guys did it ever happen to you that in most needed time you hear something that helps you in that moment? In that difficult time? Maybe it is a song, or quote, or something you overheard someone said. Something that you can relate with and automatically it helps you in that situation?
Well that happened to me the other day.

This month was very difficult for me. It was very stressful and I had some personal problems and I had heavy burden to carry with me. And even though I was one of the lucky ones that I mentioned on the start of this text, it was still very hard to deal with it.
So after few days I read something that really helped me and got me back on my feet.
So I want to share this with you in hope that someone who needs this lifting up will read it.
Because no matter how hard it gets, there is always someone who got it worse then you.

"SOMEONE OUT THERE WOULD KILL FOR ONE OF YOUR BAD DAY!"


Saturday, September 10, 2016

MEMORIES AND STUFF

The other day I was feeling nostalgic a bit so I took all my pictures, older and new ones. I was going trough them and I could remember every detail from what was happening before taking that picture. Lots of people who are in those old photos are not in my life anymore. And that is fine. I learned that it wasn't meant to be. Not everyone will go with me until the end of my road and that is fine. Everyone of those people did their purpose in my life and I sure hope I left some mark, good mark in their life too. But we each went different directions, but we will always have something to share. Memories and good times that I will treasure.


But then as I went trough a little bit newer pictures I realized that for every person that part ways with me, I got a new one that entered my life. It seems like when life takes one person from your life, on your path you meet another one. And I thought how lucky I am. For each and every person in my life. For every experience, for every lesson, for every laugh, cry and every memory I have.


I was starting to feel grateful for every person that cross my path, for every person that left my life and that entered and stayed in it. I saw how many people made difference in my life and still are making difference. I realized that trough all my life I was surrounded with family that loves me and friends that are in some way my other family.
Am lucky because when I close my eyes, I can remember so many happy memories and when I open my eyes I can hug and kiss people that I love and are important in my life.


So for all of you guys there, if you are feeling sad or nostalgic or tired of everything, just go trough your old and new pictures, close your eyes and feel those memories, and I promise you, you will realize that you are going to be ok because you are surrounded with people who loves you.
And most of all, because you survived this far, you are strong enough to go further.

Friday, September 2, 2016

BAD GIRL VS GOOD GIRL!

So I have one friend who is one of those you call good girls. She is always careful about not doing anything wrong, to not insult anyone, not to curse. I swear that girl has some aura around her. She is 21 years old, younger 4 years then me, and I can't remember one day when she did something wrong, I can't remember when bad word went trough her mouth. She has never been in any trouble in her entire life. So all in all she is every contrast of me. :)


Even to this day I do some shit stuff, my whole life is messy and full of mistakes and rule breaking, but I swear I love every part of it. I did some good things that am proud of, and then again, some that am not. I broke hearts, but then again people broke mine too. I curse, I hate when someone tells me what I can't do and that is why most of my childhood I was in trouble, including puberty.
I help everyone when I can, I really have good intention but I am only human and am not even trying to hide my mistakes. They are part of me.



So I asked her what a hell is she doing with her life? Why is she so scared to live it how ever she wants it, and not how her parents and other people want?
When I asked her that she just put her head down and I can see that my words got to her.
I asked what are you afraid off?
She said that she is afraid to disappoint her family.
I felt so sorry for her. I mean even though they had tough time with me, but I always knew my parents love me and support me no matter what screw ups I do.
So I asked her isn't she afraid to disappoint herself? To wake up one day and realize that she has been living everyone else life and dreams just not hers?
She just nodded.
I hugged her and I told her that her life will pass her by living in a fear.
Latter that night she texted me and just one word was in that text. It said: "Karma?"
I asked her what about karma?
And she is like when you do something wrong, make mistakes, won't karma hit you and return every mistake you make?
I thought about it before I answer it, and yeah I said. Probably karma will hit you no matter what you do, but you know what I asked?
And she is like: "What?"
And I texted her: "It is worth it!"
She just answer with smiling face.



I was honesty hoping that helped her a bit, so that she can take control over her life before it is to late.
Because no matter of karma, everything I did wrong and good, I would do it again. Because even though it is good to play by the rules, but just sometimes, it feels sooooo good to be bad. :)

So she went her all life by the book, and I went trough mine breaking all the rules that I could.
And you know what?
In the end, I had much more fun then she had and I have so much good memories.
And I don't regret even one single screwed up mistake I did, no matter of price I payed for it.
It is mine, and I did it my way. :)
Anyway, bad decisions sometimes make the best stories.