FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT!

Yesterday I was talking to my cousin who is 18 years old and she just finished high school and she doesn't know what to do next. She doesn't know will she study something and if she will what, or she can maybe find a job and work or both. She is trying to find herself and it seems to her like everyone knows what to do and that all of her friends got their shit together except her.
I just smiled while she was telling me that because I remember me in that exact situation after high school.
She told me like it is not funny and that it is easy for me when am keeping my shit together, I finished college and I have job.
And I started to laugh even harder and I asked her: "You really think that I or even your friends are keeping our shit together?"
And she was like: "Yeah, everyone except me!"

And I told her: "OK, listen to me now. I will tell you how my day went. I got up, and just as I reached door of my room to open them, I hit my little toe and I was jumping on one leg like an idiot. Then I went to bathroom, I took shower and my shampoo fall down and hit my leg again and I swore every bad word that I could think of in that moment. I dressed up and on half of my way to work place I remember I forgot my phone. So I came back for it, and I was late for work. Then I made three mistakes and while fixing them I had to stay hour extra, so instead 8 I worked 9 hours. Then I went and took two cakes and eat it all and after that I took ice cream and I could feel how am getting 5 pounds extra. But I already made my peace with the fact I won't have "summer body" this year so screw it. Then person that is closed to me told me that his mom is sick so I got stressed about that too, and I already spend my paycheck and it is not even close to the end of the month. So tell me, does that sound like a person that has her shit all together!??"
Now it was her turn to laugh. So when I heard her laughing, I started to laugh too.
And she was like: "But I swear you do look like you got your shit together, even though I was obviously wrong!" And she continues to laugh.
I told her: "Sweetie, nobody has his shit together all the time, not me, nor your friends, not even your parents. Nobody has it all together all the time. Am 25 years old and I still don't know what a hell do I want, but I will figure it out and so will you. Promise."
She just nodded.
And I asked her does she want to know my secret, and she said yes.
The I told her the secret: "Fake it until you make it!"
And she started to laugh again, and so did I.
And she was like: "Little toe? That had to hurt!?"
I said: "Like a mother fu*ker!"
Then she said good point: "How the hell do you survive the day without accidentally killing yourself?"
We were laughing so hard to that and I said to her that it beats the hell out of me.

So to all of you guys out there who thinks that everybody has their shit together except you, it is a lie. The only difference between you and them is in an attitude. That is it. Nobody is perfect, and everybody falls apart from time to time and we are all humans.
Fake it until you make it.
Just hold on all of you out there. ;)

AM TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT!

Friday night, me and my girlfriend, girls night out, night club, loud music, high heels, alcohol and very very bright colored lights. Sounds fun, right?
And it was for like hour and a half. Then half drunk and drunk idiots started to make moves on us, and honestly I wasn't drunk enough to tolerate that, my feet started to protest with pain because I made them stay for that long in freaking high heels and in that moment, everything started to annoy me. And I thought to myself: "Damn, am old!"

I mean am 25 years old and before you start to judge me, just listen. I have been going out since I was 15 years old. Of course, in that time I had to be home by midnight but still. How I was getting older, my freedom become bigger. So all in all there is like 10 years behind me of going out, loud music and drunk idiots and standing for hours in high heels while all colored lights are going in my eyes and honestly for them now I need sunglasses.
So yeah, am a bit old for this and frankly am tired.
Few years ago I wouldn't even notice all this that I notice now, I would just shake it off like Taylor Swift, but in 10 years I really got enough.
I couldn't leave because my friend was having fun and I didn't want to be party breaker so I knew that I need alcohol to survive this night.

So I was drinking not to get drunk, but just enough to become numb at everything around me and I enjoyed few good songs DJ was playing and I was thinking how good it would be that instead of this I went to a dinner, few glasses of wine and maybe afterwords some movie. It would be nice to be in a place where I could actually hear person talking to me.
But hour by hour and the night was over, so because club is near my house, I put my friend in taxi, and I walked barefoot while I was holding my purse in one hand and in other my heels. I need some air and peace.

I came home, showered and I slept like a baby. In the morning hangover kick in and while I was trying not to die I thought to myself: "Am too old for this shit!"
So yeah people, me and Mr Murtaugh from Lethal Weapon are too old for all kind of shits.
So I barely survived work with my hangover and when my friend texted me to go out again, I was like thanks but no thanks. So I bought myself my favorite cake, I put on some movie and I snuggled up in my sweet bed and I had the best Saturday night.

So for all of you guys who are young but kind of the old soul, any movies to recommend? :)