YOU ONLY HAVE ONE LIFE-LIVE IT!

Hi everyone. These days I haven't been very active and not because I was lazy,
but because I had no inspiration. It is not like nothing happen, but my mind
was all over the place, and I couldn't just pick up one topic to concentrate on.
Because frankly I  didn't had time to just sit down and think about it, or anything
else on that matter. And then I realized, time is everything.

And imagine how much time do we spend on things that don't matter?
Like worrying about what someone thinks about you,
or are you smart enough, or are you slim enough....
And the worst part is, time is being wasted on waiting.
We always wait for something. We wait for tomorrow to do something
that make us happy, we wait for another time to relax and give yourself
some time to recharge. And we all need that time every once in a while.
We wait for better days, we wait for rain to stop, we wait for summer, winter and
some other season. We wait for promotion,
for love, for someone to understand your worth.
All we really do is just wait for something, and the thing is
we won't live forever.
Nobody knows how much time do we have on this Earth.
And for some reason, we take that time we have for granted and
we continue to waste it.
Time is precious. If you love someone, tell them that.
If you miss someone, pick up a phone and call them.
If you are out with family, friends or a lover,
leave all phones and technology and just enjoy the company.
Live in a present. Don't think about past or future and take the most
out of every moment you have and don't take it for granted.
Common, go out there and live the shit out of your life and
that precious time you have.

BEING BORED = DANGEROUS

So everyone of us have those days, or mounts in there lives where nothing, and I literally mean nothing happens. It is like we call it static period.
And some people love those periods, especially introvert people. They enjoy boring days when they can be at peace. Some people even enjoy routine because they are scared of changes.

Some people on the other hand don't like it, but somehow can get trough it. And when the wind changes and something interesting starts to happen, they feel like they are alive again.
And some people are dangerous when they feel that they are bored and that they are stuck in a routine.
I am in that third section.
I can't think of one moment in my life when me being bored didn't result in me getting myself into trouble and turning my life in a disaster.
I have very good imagination when getting me in trouble is in stake. Doesn't matter is that emotional trouble, screwing up good relationship I have and finding an idiot to complicate my life or something else, either way, I will find a way to make things interesting for me again.

Am just that kind of person as long as I can remember. My mom, poor thing, had full hands raising me and keeping me out of trouble. But as far as I can tell, those days she always remembers with a smile on her face.
When she talks about me hanging from a tree, so when she would tell me I can't ever climb on that tree again I would climb on another one and when she would get angry I would just told her: "You said I can't climb on that one, you said nothing about this one." and even now I can remember her trying her best not to laugh and to stay serious and mad at me. Or when I put glue on door handles of every apartment in our building to people I didn't like, you can see some spark in her eyes when she is telling someone who has same crazy child how she survived me being hyperactive.
And by the way, yes I needed to clean every door handle I screwed up with.
But point is she knows me, and she knows that I even felt bored to sit and eat.
Yes my people, like a child I didn't want to sit and eat so I would stand over the table and eat.
I wasn't a bad kid, but I was something that you would call hyperactive and I am who I am.

So you can imagine how proud my mom felt when she saw me graduate, getting my master degree and working, because she was like: "Good, you didn't end up pregnant or in jail." :)
And she really did raise me well, and even now before I do something or make some choice, I always have her voice in my head.

Now I am little bit older and I kind of manage to stay out of big troubles, but even so, now and then I find a way to make my life difficult. Because difficult means that something is happening and am not bored.
My mind just works that way, and when ever I tell my mom am bored, she is like: "God help us all!" ;)

BURDEN ON YOUR BACK

Lets be honest. Everyone of us have its own problems and stuff that they are dealing with on daily basis. Everyone has its own burden that in some days it is too heavy and in some days we manage to forget about it at least for few hours. Mainly that is a difference between good and bad days I guess.
The most lucky of us have someone in their life, friend, lover of family that helps us with that problems, helps us carry that burden and somehow it all gets easy. Yeah, some of us are really lucky. I know I am.

But then I was thinking about all the problems I think I have and the ones I actually have. I realized that sometimes I make problems where there aren't any. Thinking ahead of time, in future and in my mind I already made like 10 problems that might happen but still didn't and as far as I can tell, that is more heavy to bear then actual problems I have now. At this moment.
Then I read some articles about living in a moment, in present and I think to myself: "Yeah, easier said then done!".
Because my mind doesn't work that way. I mean I always think ahead. I know that it is not good for me, but hey, chocolate isn't good for me either, but I still eat it. :)

Over the years I manage to slow my mind down, to get ahead of it. I do breathing techniques, I do yoga and that really helps. My mind gets quite a bit.

But back to the point. Let me ask you guys did it ever happen to you that in most needed time you hear something that helps you in that moment? In that difficult time? Maybe it is a song, or quote, or something you overheard someone said. Something that you can relate with and automatically it helps you in that situation?
Well that happened to me the other day.

This month was very difficult for me. It was very stressful and I had some personal problems and I had heavy burden to carry with me. And even though I was one of the lucky ones that I mentioned on the start of this text, it was still very hard to deal with it.
So after few days I read something that really helped me and got me back on my feet.
So I want to share this with you in hope that someone who needs this lifting up will read it.
Because no matter how hard it gets, there is always someone who got it worse then you.

"SOMEONE OUT THERE WOULD KILL FOR ONE OF YOUR BAD DAY!"

MEMORIES AND STUFF

The other day I was feeling nostalgic a bit so I took all my pictures, older and new ones. I was going trough them and I could remember every detail from what was happening before taking that picture. Lots of people who are in those old photos are not in my life anymore. And that is fine. I learned that it wasn't meant to be. Not everyone will go with me until the end of my road and that is fine. Everyone of those people did their purpose in my life and I sure hope I left some mark, good mark in their life too. But we each went different directions, but we will always have something to share. Memories and good times that I will treasure.

But then as I went trough a little bit newer pictures I realized that for every person that part ways with me, I got a new one that entered my life. It seems like when life takes one person from your life, on your path you meet another one. And I thought how lucky I am. For each and every person in my life. For every experience, for every lesson, for every laugh, cry and every memory I have.

I was starting to feel grateful for every person that cross my path, for every person that left my life and that entered and stayed in it. I saw how many people made difference in my life and still are making difference. I realized that trough all my life I was surrounded with family that loves me and friends that are in some way my other family.
Am lucky because when I close my eyes, I can remember so many happy memories and when I open my eyes I can hug and kiss people that I love and are important in my life.

So for all of you guys there, if you are feeling sad or nostalgic or tired of everything, just go trough your old and new pictures, close your eyes and feel those memories, and I promise you, you will realize that you are going to be ok because you are surrounded with people who loves you.
And most of all, because you survived this far, you are strong enough to go further.

BAD GIRL VS GOOD GIRL!

So I have one friend who is one of those you call good girls. She is always careful about not doing anything wrong, to not insult anyone, not to curse. I swear that girl has some aura around her. She is 21 years old, younger 4 years then me, and I can't remember one day when she did something wrong, I can't remember when bad word went trough her mouth. She has never been in any trouble in her entire life. So all in all she is every contrast of me. :)

Even to this day I do some shit stuff, my whole life is messy and full of mistakes and rule breaking, but I swear I love every part of it. I did some good things that am proud of, and then again, some that am not. I broke hearts, but then again people broke mine too. I curse, I hate when someone tells me what I can't do and that is why most of my childhood I was in trouble, including puberty.
I help everyone when I can, I really have good intention but I am only human and am not even trying to hide my mistakes. They are part of me.

So I asked her what a hell is she doing with her life? Why is she so scared to live it how ever she wants it, and not how her parents and other people want?
When I asked her that she just put her head down and I can see that my words got to her.
I asked what are you afraid off?
She said that she is afraid to disappoint her family.
I felt so sorry for her. I mean even though they had tough time with me, but I always knew my parents love me and support me no matter what screw ups I do.
So I asked her isn't she afraid to disappoint herself? To wake up one day and realize that she has been living everyone else life and dreams just not hers?
She just nodded.
I hugged her and I told her that her life will pass her by living in a fear.
Latter that night she texted me and just one word was in that text. It said: "Karma?"
I asked her what about karma?
And she is like when you do something wrong, make mistakes, won't karma hit you and return every mistake you make?
I thought about it before I answer it, and yeah I said. Probably karma will hit you no matter what you do, but you know what I asked?
And she is like: "What?"
And I texted her: "It is worth it!"
She just answer with smiling face.

I was honesty hoping that helped her a bit, so that she can take control over her life before it is to late.
Because no matter of karma, everything I did wrong and good, I would do it again. Because even though it is good to play by the rules, but just sometimes, it feels sooooo good to be bad. :)

So she went her all life by the book, and I went trough mine breaking all the rules that I could.
And you know what?
In the end, I had much more fun then she had and I have so much good memories.
And I don't regret even one single screwed up mistake I did, no matter of price I payed for it.
It is mine, and I did it my way. :)
Anyway, bad decisions sometimes make the best stories.

GETTING OLD IS PRIVILEGE!

These days you can't open any magazine or page on that matter that doesn't scream of big ass, plastic surgery, too much exercising, diet and other dumb shit that famous people with too much money do because they are not able to accept the simple fact. They are getting old. And no amount of money can change that. They can maybe prolong that, but years will catch up with them, sooner or latter. Nobody ever escapes from years and eventually death.

I don't know where is the problem? I mean wrinkles mean you laughed, gray hair means you cared and scares means you lived. Am not saying that getting old means you give up, don't wash your hair and just sit in sweatpants. You can still dress up, put on some make up, and look nice. And wear the fu*k out of the wrinkles and your years. Point is you get old gracefully. You accept the fact that you lived long enough to learn, to become more wiser. Do they know how lucky they are? More and more young people die, weather it is from being sick or from accidents. Do they know that being old in this time seems to be a privilege?

I mean if you think about it, we were born with a clean, blank canvas. While years are passing by someone gets freckles, stretch marks, scares and all other evidence that we lived. Isn't that the coolest thing ever? Look at you now, look how far you made it. :)
Life is a miracle, and getting old is a good thing. It is a gift. Life gave you time to enjoy in your family and friend company, Maybe you got a chance to get old together with the love of your life or maybe even to see your children and grandchildren grow up. Isn't that something amazing? Isn't that something we all should look forward instead of being afraid?

Besides, being older doesn't means you can't do all crazy dumb things that you did when you were younger, it just means you will do them in slower way. :)

Wear your age gracefully, don't let age wear you. :)

Remember, it is not how old you look, it is how young you feel.

Good luck to us all. ;)

BE YOUR OWN HERO!

My mom always tells me that from every life of every person on this planet you can write a story. And a damn good one. Best selling books.
Because everyone has its own stories to tell.
Everyone has something that broke them, something that lift them up.
Everyone has its big love, huge crash of the same love.
Everyone has its own fights, its own defeats and victory.
Everyone has their own lessons they learned on a hard way.

So while thinking about that, I was wondering one thing.
What sets us apart from one another?
I mean we all have some stories to tell,
people we love, people that love us,
our fights and ups and downs.
Lost loves, missed chances and loved ones that died.
We all have tears and smiles.
Good and bad days.
We all have dream, hope, faith
and we all search that one thing
that will make us happy and calm.
So if everyone has its own stories to tell,
life that can write a book,
what is that one thing that sets apart one
story author from another?

And then it hit me. I knew the answer.
It is the way they carry their stories.
The way they tell it.
There are some people out there that have been trough so much,
that are tired and lost and are fighting
with their last atom of power
but we can't see that on them.
They still smile, they still have time to make others smile
and you know what? They carry their story and not the
other way around. They took everything that happen to them,
accept it and let it make them wiser and stronger.
And you will never hear that author of that life story
telling it in a way that he/she will put him/herself in a victim position.
Because you know what, he/she is not a victim.
Those people are fighters and survivors.
They are heroes of their own story.

So that is the difference.
So one day when you tell your story,
don't forget that you can choose what are
you going to be, hero or victim.
Is your story of life going to be full
of adventures and used chances,
or full of fear and regret.
It is up to all of you to decide,
because you know what.
You are your writer and author
of your own story and your life.
Every day write a good chapter of your book.

FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT!

Yesterday I was talking to my cousin who is 18 years old and she just finished high school and she doesn't know what to do next. She doesn't know will she study something and if she will what, or she can maybe find a job and work or both. She is trying to find herself and it seems to her like everyone knows what to do and that all of her friends got their shit together except her.
I just smiled while she was telling me that because I remember me in that exact situation after high school.
She told me like it is not funny and that it is easy for me when am keeping my shit together, I finished college and I have job.
And I started to laugh even harder and I asked her: "You really think that I or even your friends are keeping our shit together?"
And she was like: "Yeah, everyone except me!"

And I told her: "OK, listen to me now. I will tell you how my day went. I got up, and just as I reached door of my room to open them, I hit my little toe and I was jumping on one leg like an idiot. Then I went to bathroom, I took shower and my shampoo fall down and hit my leg again and I swore every bad word that I could think of in that moment. I dressed up and on half of my way to work place I remember I forgot my phone. So I came back for it, and I was late for work. Then I made three mistakes and while fixing them I had to stay hour extra, so instead 8 I worked 9 hours. Then I went and took two cakes and eat it all and after that I took ice cream and I could feel how am getting 5 pounds extra. But I already made my peace with the fact I won't have "summer body" this year so screw it. Then person that is closed to me told me that his mom is sick so I got stressed about that too, and I already spend my paycheck and it is not even close to the end of the month. So tell me, does that sound like a person that has her shit all together!??"
Now it was her turn to laugh. So when I heard her laughing, I started to laugh too.
And she was like: "But I swear you do look like you got your shit together, even though I was obviously wrong!" And she continues to laugh.
I told her: "Sweetie, nobody has his shit together all the time, not me, nor your friends, not even your parents. Nobody has it all together all the time. Am 25 years old and I still don't know what a hell do I want, but I will figure it out and so will you. Promise."
She just nodded.
And I asked her does she want to know my secret, and she said yes.
The I told her the secret: "Fake it until you make it!"
And she started to laugh again, and so did I.
And she was like: "Little toe? That had to hurt!?"
I said: "Like a mother fu*ker!"
Then she said good point: "How the hell do you survive the day without accidentally killing yourself?"
We were laughing so hard to that and I said to her that it beats the hell out of me.

So to all of you guys out there who thinks that everybody has their shit together except you, it is a lie. The only difference between you and them is in an attitude. That is it. Nobody is perfect, and everybody falls apart from time to time and we are all humans.
Fake it until you make it.
Just hold on all of you out there. ;)

AM TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT!

Friday night, me and my girlfriend, girls night out, night club, loud music, high heels, alcohol and very very bright colored lights. Sounds fun, right?
And it was for like hour and a half. Then half drunk and drunk idiots started to make moves on us, and honestly I wasn't drunk enough to tolerate that, my feet started to protest with pain because I made them stay for that long in freaking high heels and in that moment, everything started to annoy me. And I thought to myself: "Damn, am old!"

I mean am 25 years old and before you start to judge me, just listen. I have been going out since I was 15 years old. Of course, in that time I had to be home by midnight but still. How I was getting older, my freedom become bigger. So all in all there is like 10 years behind me of going out, loud music and drunk idiots and standing for hours in high heels while all colored lights are going in my eyes and honestly for them now I need sunglasses.
So yeah, am a bit old for this and frankly am tired.
Few years ago I wouldn't even notice all this that I notice now, I would just shake it off like Taylor Swift, but in 10 years I really got enough.
I couldn't leave because my friend was having fun and I didn't want to be party breaker so I knew that I need alcohol to survive this night.

So I was drinking not to get drunk, but just enough to become numb at everything around me and I enjoyed few good songs DJ was playing and I was thinking how good it would be that instead of this I went to a dinner, few glasses of wine and maybe afterwords some movie. It would be nice to be in a place where I could actually hear person talking to me.
But hour by hour and the night was over, so because club is near my house, I put my friend in taxi, and I walked barefoot while I was holding my purse in one hand and in other my heels. I need some air and peace.

I came home, showered and I slept like a baby. In the morning hangover kick in and while I was trying not to die I thought to myself: "Am too old for this shit!"
So yeah people, me and Mr Murtaugh from Lethal Weapon are too old for all kind of shits.
So I barely survived work with my hangover and when my friend texted me to go out again, I was like thanks but no thanks. So I bought myself my favorite cake, I put on some movie and I snuggled up in my sweet bed and I had the best Saturday night.

So for all of you guys who are young but kind of the old soul, any movies to recommend? :)

IT'S JUST LIFE, NOTHING PERSONAL

So the other day I was talking to someone about its job and the fact that he is taking everything too personal, when he should think of it like just a job. I was telling him to stop stressing about what his boss is telling him or about how much work he has. He should just do the best he can, and when his work hours are done, he should leave his job and all problem there. Not to bring it home. Because, like I said, it is just business, nothing personal.

Then I was thinking about it and it crossed my mind that the same advice I gave to him, we can all use in life too. Not just for work, but for everything that comes in our way.
I mean think about it. Everything good and bad that happens, it is just life. Bad things happen to us so that we can appreciate them when they are good. Evil wouldn't exist without good, and the other way around. How can we enjoy a good laugh if we don't know how does it feel to be sad and cry? Everything in this world needs balance. Did you ever see a good person that is going trough something bad and you thought to yourself: "That is so not fair, he/she is good person and he/she doesn't deserve it!"
Life is not fair and it is not supposed to be fair. It is messy and complicated, but it is also fun, beautiful and it has its moments.
Good and bad things will happen to all of us from time to time, and that has nothing to do with the fact are we a good person or not. It has nothing to do with what we ever did in life and it has nothing to do with karma and punishment. It is just life. Complicated, beautiful, difficult, messy life that needs balance.

What if we could train ourselves, our brain and our emotions in that way. To be objective, to not take things too personal?
What if every day we would tell ourselves: "It's just life, nothing personal!" and in that way we would day by day change our perspective about it.
Don't you think that it would make life and everything that happens to you much easier?
Once I read that life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we react to it.
It is worth to try it at least, right?
Anyway, if we do the best of what we can do each day, that is good enough.

BLOG-LIFE AT ITS BEST

So this post is all about girls. And everyone who feels like it. :)
I think that there is small number of girls who never have to fight battle with a broken nail. And that looks nasty because we take care of them so long, so much time invested in them, just that one nail can broke and make the rest of them look ugly. And you know that feeling when you should cut them all because of that one broken? Yeah, all effort goes in a toilet.
So I was googling and trying to find some solution about it, and I run into one blog and I have to tell you girls, I love it. That girl is miracle worker, because not only that she found a way to fix that broken nail, she also had lots of other ideas.

http://lifeaib.blogspot.ba/2016/03/how-to-fix-broken-nail-kako-popraviti.html

I was going trough her blog and I was impressed. She explains all easy and she writes her posts on two languages, English and Croatian.
Her name is Alisa, Stuttgard/BIH and she will definitely help you live your life at its best.

http://lifeaib.blogspot.ba/

So while I was trying to find some more helpful tips, I run into post about contouring. I think we all heard about Kim Kardashian and this contouring is her territory. I have to admit, I suck in that. I even don't know what to buy and how to do that, but luckily , this girl in blog knows her magic.

http://lifeaib.blogspot.ba/2016/04/loreal-indefectible-sculpt-contouring.html

So on my next paycheck am getting all Loreal equipment and I will try to do contouring without looking like a clown. Hopefully. :)

And I would like to single out one more post that I loved, because I really needed help with that, and now I found it. Post is about perfect foundation for all skin types. It was always hard for me to figure out what foundation my skin needs and what label product is good for it.

http://lifeaib.blogspot.ba/2016/04/how-to-choose-perfect-foundation.html

So girls if you need a little bit of help with your beauty tips and improving life style, you should check out this blog. It is worth your time. :)

ROLES WE PLAY-THE SHOW MUST GO ON

I was thinking recently about human life. Life in general. It seems to me that life is like one theater play and each and every one of us has its own role in it. With different scripts but the same director-Destiny.
If you think about it for a second, you will see am kind of right. From day one you were born, your role is that you are someones child. If you are not first born, then you get two roles, like I did. You become someones child and someones brother or sister. So from the start parents are teaching you how to play your roles. Respect parents so that you will play good child role. Take care of brother or sister, because when your parents die one day, you will have each other.

 Then you get little bit older, you make friends and there you go. You just got another role. You are someones friend. Then you fall in love, you enter relationship and you find yourself in one completely different role. You are someones girlfriend or boyfriend and I think that one is much more interesting. Because that role wakes up in us feelings that we didn't know even exist before we fall in love.

And while you are growing up and our roles are adding up. You are someones student, latter you are someones work colleague, maybe one day even someones boss. Then if we are lucky, we find that person we want to spend our life with. From someones girlfriend or boyfriend we become someones wife or husband. Latter maybe even someones parents, and that role is the most difficult one, but brings so much pleasure.
But there is not the end, list of roles trough life is huge, like someones son in law, brother in law, mother in law, father-in-law, somebody's grandparents, mistress, lover and so on and so on. List is endless. I just mentioned basic roles.

I guess what I was trying to say, for all you guys there who lost someone, who lost one role in their life, just hold on tight to all other roles you've got. And let them help you and you will live trough it. That is why God and Destiny gave us so much roles to play, to make it easier in life when we lose one. Because like in theater, so in life-The show must go on. Life goes on.
Just hold on folks. :)

WE LIVE TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY

I read one article the other day about people who suffer from depression and anxiety and I thought to myself: "Damn, it must to be so hard to go trough life like that. Scared of everything, scared of what future brings or not being able to see any light at the end of a tunnel. Not finding any reason and will to get up in the morning."

I thought how hard sometimes it is to go day by day even for people who doesn't have those obstacles, but for those who live with those obstacles and still manage to survive a day, those people are heroes to me.

And more and more that I thought about it I realize that over the years I manage to develop some defense mechanism that keeps me safe from all the bad energy I guess. 

I realize over the time that not every battle is mine to fight. I learned that sometimes being in peace is more important then being right. 

I learned to choose my battles.

I realize that I need to keep my thoughts positive and if am surrounded by negative people, I know that has nothing to do with me, and that is their fight to fight. I learned not to let anybody bring my spirit down. I trained my mind to calm myself during storms, because storm I can't calm, but I can calm myself. And the storm will pass. It always does.

Then I learned that life is a gift. Every day is a gift. So every morning when I get up, I feel grateful. Every morning I think this is a new day and new opportunity for adventure. For something nice to happen. Life can change for the better before you know it. And every day I tell myself, this day is that day. This day something will change my life for the better. And even if that doesn't happen, I still wake up another morning with same thoughts and one day I will be right. 

I realize that I need to live in a present and not to think about problems that might happen. I don't need to get ahead of the future, because in the present day I create my future. And if some problems come up along the way I believe in myself and I trust that I can survive that just like I survived everything else in my past. 

I learned that I don't need to waste my energy on things I can't change. I just let it go. Am changing what I can and am fighting my fights the best I can day by day but I learned not to complicate things for myself.

And when the night comes, before I go to bed, am at peace because I know that I did the best I could in that day and it is more then I can hope for. When I go to bed, I just imagine stars and my destiny moving and playing on my side. And I fall asleep knowing that I live to fight another day.

ROUTINE AND BALANCE

So I was thinking about routine and balance. I was doing yoga and by doing one posture that is called tree where you need to keep your balance basically standing on one leg, million thoughts cross my mind, and some of them just stuck with me.

So when I finished with yoga, I was lying on the floor, breathing deeply and I start to think about how every person in this world has its own routine. Some of us think that routine is boring and that person was me few years ago, but for some reason, now that am little bit older I found it to be very comforting.
I find it very refreshing that I know when I get up, I will go to the bathroom to fresh up, to take some creme on my face. Then I will go and have some lemon water and coffee. After am done with yoga, I make my bed, take some breakfast, get ready for work and I leave the house.
I love my morning routine and in it I feel very comfortable because that is one thing that I can actually control. That mostly depends on me. And even if something happens and I can't do all that in one morning, I can do it tomorrow and still, I found that comforting.
Sometimes our routine changes and that's ok too.
Life is full of changes so who is to say that our routines can't change?
And mostly while you are getting older, they do change.
I certainly don't have same routine now that I had few years ago.
So how we change over the years and how we grow, our routines grow with us.
And that keeps things interesting and little bit less boring I think.
We never know what day can bring to us and everything is insecure, but in our daily routines we can find balance and some safety. Some order even.
While doing yoga, you need to keep balance in many postures, keep breathing and just hang on tight and light at the same time.
And that is life. Doing yoga postures reminded me on life. Reminded me to keep balance. To hold on tight, because even though one posture is difficult, after that one comes another posture and that one is a little bit easier.
Yoga is life. After one hard day, tomorrow can bring you light, less stressful day. So just hold on tight and you will be just fine.

MOVIES SENDS THE WRONG MESSAGE!

So am watching some movie and in it, some guy comes to his ex in the middle of the night, she gets up to open the door, like half sleeping, but she still has perfect hair, make up and even voice for someone who have just awakened.

He enters, starts telling her how he misses her and how he wants her back, and of course, what movie would it be without some sex scene. So they start to kiss, go all over each other, and she of course has lace laundry on her, she is all shaved and ready for sex even though she didn't expect one. And now comes the interesting part. She get the orgasm just in a minute that his soldier went marching in her. And I was like: "Are you f*cking kidding me!??"

It is no miracle that guys have opinion that we are always ready for sex and that they don't have to even try in bed, because it is enough just to "get in" and the job is done. Well, if they see that in a movie, it has to be true, right?
Or maybe they think like, all the girls that i have been sleeping with had orgasms like that.
No way!!!!
Nope, guess again, they faked it. I bet on that!
So for all of you guys who really get all those movies literally, let me tell you a few secrets:

1. NO, WE ARE NOT ALWAYS READY FOR SEX!-So dear guys, do you know how much preparation do we need to have sex with you? We need to shave, everything or at least most of it, it depends on woman I guess. We are not always smooth like in the movies. We have body hair too. On our legs, bikini zone. And we don't shave every day if we don't have to or if we don't expect to have sex, because, lets be real, we have no time for that and we don't want to. Besides, even our skin needs a break from time to time. You don't shave your beard every day if you don't have to, right?

2. NO WE WON'T JUST GET ORGASM WHEN YOU GO IN!-For God sake, do I even need to explain this to you guys? We need foreplay, lots of it. Our body doesn't function like yours do. For you it is enough just to see us naked, but for a girl it is a different story. You can't even enter if we are not "In the mood" enough and that is pure biology. So yeah, you need to make a lot of effort to get as on the edge. Just going in won't do the trick.

3. NO, WE DON'T LOOK PERFECT WHEN WE JUST WAKE UP!-We are humans too, so yeah, when we wake up, our hair is messy, we have no make up so of course we don't look the same as we do when we get decent and go out. And you know what, we don't have to. We can be messy, have our sweatshirt on us instead some sexy nightie, because you know what, we want to be comfortable just as much as you want when we are at home. We are sick of make up, our bra, high heels, and when we close that door we just want to relax so deal with it!

4. IF YOU WAKE US UP, WE WON'T BE HAPPY!-Especially if some idiot ex is knocking on our door and wants to have sex. We need our 8 hours of beauty sleep, so if you mess with that for no good reason but to have sex, get ready to be yelled at.

5. WE ARE NOT PERFECT AND WE DON'T WANT TO BE!-So yeah, we are not perfect, and as a matter of fact, we don't want to be. We have flaws, cellulite and everything else, but you know what, we are looking for someone who knows all our flaws, and still loves us and still thinks that we are perfect and looking beautiful in our big old sweatshirt. We want someone who wants to make love to us even when our legs are not so smooth shaved, and if you can do that for a woman, you will get imperfectly perfect woman just for you, who will love you for who you really are, no matter did you just shaved your beard or not.
We are not perfect, but we sure as hell are worth it!

WHAT IF??

I was thinking about life in general. About choices we make every day. About paths we never took, and the ones we do choose. What makes us go left instead of the right? What makes us go back instead of moving forward or the other way around?
I was thinking about all those plans we make and never lived to see them becoming reality, about the things we didn't think it is possible to happen, but they happened anyway.
I heard from someone that every choice that we make, even small one like where will we go to take our coffee, every single choice we make in day leads us to our destiny.
So by that definition, every mistake is really not a mistake. It is just some lesson we need to learn so that we can go one step forward. I know that life is full of ups and downs, but if every one of us has its own path and destiny, so in that sense we can't make a mistake, can we?
We can't make wrong choice, because they are no wrong choices. We call it mistake and wrong decision because it didn't worked out like we wanted it to work.

But just because it didn't go as we wanted it doesn't mean it didn't turn out exactly like it was supposed to.
I know it is in a human nature to worry. To think like five steps ahead, but what if we would just live in the moment? Because in this moment right now, we make our future.
Every decision we make this day, in these moments will shape our future and shape us as a person.
What if we don't have to know what will happen five mounts from now or even tomorrow?
What if we don't have to know where will we be, or what will we be doing or with whom?
What if all we have is right here and right now? This moment. This day. Because we never know what can happen tomorrow, and we don't have to. Because tomorrow will take care of itself when time comes.
What if we would just breath, be in this moment and take a leap of faith?
What if we would just trust our journey even thought we sometimes don't understand it?
What if we would just trust ourselves? That we made it trough so far, and we can make it trough
what ever is coming next.
What if we would just stop worrying about things that didn't even happen yet?
What if we would just let our life happen to us?

BEING MEAN vs BEING NICE

Yesterday my cousin invited me to come in her house. She made pancakes and we drink a little bit of wine. Ok, little more. :) Just girls talk.
Anyway, her husband was just coming back home, and while he was reaching one of the pancakes from the plate, he spill the wine all over the table and the floor. She was pissed at him, she cursed at him. I was a little bit embarrassed to be caught in the middle of that.
And in that moment, I don't know why exactly but I remembered last year when she had Christmas party in her house. There was not many people, maybe like 15 of us, but we made quite a mess. And I remember that one of her husbands friends, totally stranger to her, he spilled beer on her phone and that phone stop working. I saw it in her eyes that she was pissed off and that she would rather kill him, but she just put on a fake smile on her face, took the phone and try to dry it. That guy apologized to her, he even offered to buy her a new one because this one clearly didn't work anymore, but she just put on her game smile again and said: "Don't worry, it's just a phone."

So when her husband went to the other room, I asked her does she remember that. She was like: "Of course I do, that idiot screw up my phone!"
In that moment I saw that she was still angry at that guy.
And then I asked her how come that she was nice to him, to a complete stranger even though she had all right to be mad, but just a minute ago she was an asshole to her husband? To a man she loves, has family with?
Both of us just sat there in silence for a few minutes and I could see the guilt on her face. I said to her: "Sorry, I didn't want to sound mean and to get you in a bad mood."
And she said to me: "It's not a problem that you said that, the problem is that you were right!"
So for some reason, the night that was supposed to be relaxing turn out to be philosophical night. We talked about why do we always act like assholes towards persons we love, but we are nice to complete strangers. We were talking about that topic until we finished bottle of wine. Then, when I started to feel dizzy I knew that was my time to call a cab.

When I came back home, I was in some romantic mood so I made myself a bubble bath and just relaxed there for some time. And I was still by the impression of our talk that night, that I couldn't help but wonder-why the hell are we mean to the people we love? Why don't we just react on their screw ups like we would if some stranger was on the line?
Is it because we know they love us and that they will forgive us for that?
Or is it because it hurts more when someone we love screws up?
But then again, nobody got hurt because her husband spilled the wine and she was an asshole to him, but that Christmas party her phone got hurt, and she managed to be nice.
I don't get it!
Why do we have constant need for other people, for complete strangers to like us, but we take advantage of people that we love? We take them for granted.
Why don't we act nice with the people around us who loves us, who take care of us?
Why don't we just say to them: "Don't worry it's just a phone, or don't worry, it's just a stupid table and a stupid wine. It can be cleaned up!"

MAGIC HAPPENS AT NIGHT

I always loved the night. Even when I was a little kid. I would sneak out of my bed really quite so that I don't wake up my mom, and I would go to balcony so that I could look at the stars and look the city from above. There is some mystical energy I always feel at night. Mixture of romance, sky full of stars and silence that gives me inspiration. It is like finally, at night, when the whole town seems to be sleeping, I can hear my thoughts, I could breathe fresh air, no stress, noise, just me, night sky and serenity.

Did you ever notice that if you are looking at your city from above, how it looks peaceful? Of course, everything that you look from above, from some distance looks different. Every situation in life that you distance yourself from, objectively looks different. It is the same for a city too. From a distance it looks peaceful, it looks magical with that lights burning inside of every building and street. But when you go inside, in the center of that same town, you realize that you liked it better from distance. And even though I didn't meant for this last sentence to be like metaphor, but it could serve as one for life anyway. I could use it too. I guess the only way to look clearly at any given situation in life, is to distance yourself from it, try to look objectively at it. Like what advice you would give your friend in that same situation if he asked you for opinion.

Anyway, I read one research in the journal Psychology Today that smart people stay awake late at night. It has something to do with wanting to make our own way and not to just blindly follow the rules that society put in front of us. All of those dreams and thoughts that people can't have during the day because of the distractions, work, people around them and obligations, they wait for the night to come. During the night, we can explore our mind, our thoughts and ideas. The night is made for testing our limits.

Like Stephanie Meyer said: "I like the night. Without the dark, we would never see the stars."

HEART WANTS WHAT IT WANTS

I was reading some articles and I ran into one quote that catch my eye.

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” 
― Maya Angelou

And if you think about it, it makes sense and it's true. Mind can fail you in many ways, your memory won't always hold on to every word or detail, but your heart, he never fails you. I bet that every one of us can remember how did we feel when we had our first kiss, or first sex or even a first break up. Can you all remember how does it feel to be loved and how does it feel when your heart is broken? I bet you do. And so do I.

If there is many of you guys who didn't get over your exes I bet that is the reason why. Many of us know that ex is bad for us and that person is ex for the right reasons and we have to move on, but we still hold on to it, and not because you remember what did that ex said or done, but because your heart remembers how did you feel when that ex said first I love you, your heart still remembers how does it feel to have his/her lips on yours, how does it feel to make love to that person, how does it feel when that person wrap his/her arm around you. Heart remembers, even your skin remembers those goosebumps you felt when his/hers arm was on you. So there for, you will always remember how did he/she made you feel, and if you think that you miss your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, you don't actually. You miss the way he/she made you feel.

Maybe that feeling is happiness, maybe sense of security or feeling that you are loved and wanted. And I think that until you find those feelings that you felt with ex boyfriend or girlfriend in another person, you are stuck with not being able to move on.
But I'll admit, feelings are tricky little things. You never know what will wake them up. Old song, old place that you went with the person from your past or even a movie you guys watched together will do the trick. And you are back to that memory land again.

But it does make you wonder, doesn't it? About your behavior towards other people. Imagine if we all went every day with that thought that every one of the people that we have contact with will remember how did we make them feel, don't you think that a world would be a better place?

BEING A WINGMAN

So yesterday something amazing happen. For the first time, I was a wingman for my friend. We went out and after few drinks, we were just joking around about a fact that he really has no luck with picking up women. I have no idea what a hell does he say to them, but the result is the same, either they give him just Facebook profile, they text few times with him but they never go out, or they tell him that they already have a boyfriend. And maybe few of them actually have a boyfriend, but what are the odds that in like 10 women he talks with, 8 of them are in a relationship, those two just text trough Facebook but with no luck in further contact.
And really he is not ugly. He is nice and handsome, he has nice job, so basically he has everything that most of women want so in that term he is suitable candidate for a girl to give him a number and go out with him, but for some reason, that never works.
So I asked him what a hell does he do to them, because I don't really get it. Maybe it is in something he says or do, I don't know. And he says to me that he is doing everything right. He approaches girl, he gives some compliment and then after some chat he asks if he can meet her tomorrow or some other day when she can to go on some coffee and to get to know her better, and that is far as he goes.
And we started to joke a little and I ask him like: "Ok then, tell me what do you look in women, in a physical sense and we'll see what can we do for you tonight."
So he said like she needs to be good looking, but he really doesn't have any special demands. So I looked around us in a bar and I saw few good looking women and just for fun, I was picking him some girls and whom ever I choose, he needs to go and talk to them. Because I wanted to see him in action so that I can figure it out. So he did that. I found like 5 girls for him, but for some reason, he didn't manage to score with any of them. And while he was there talking to them, I was looking at his body language and I was like: "Ohhhh, now I get it!"
I found a reason why he doesn't score with women. So, he approached to them, but I saw in his body language that he wasn't confidant enough. The way he moved, he talked to them, the way his shoulders were pull down it was all like he expected that they will reject him, but like he will give it a try anyway. Even I could sense his fear. And one thing that guys never understand is that we girls are like dogs when it comes to sensing confidence and believe me, you can be good looking and fill every social form, but if you are not confident in yourself, you won't make it. Because confidence comes with a charm, and if you have no charm when you are talking with a girl, it will all go to hell. Of course, they are exceptions for every rule, but in general, that is how we roll.
It's not all in looks and money guys, there is something in charm as well.
Good luck to you all out there. We are rough crowd to deal with, but in the end, every one of us is worth it. :)
As far as for my friend goes, I will have a lot of work with him. But yesterday it had no point to tell him that. He suffered enough for one night. Baby steps I guess. :)