I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!!

So this is how my day starts after I had my coffee.

.

And that would be fine if I were smoker, but the freaking part of it is am not! But my mom and brother are, and the funny part full of irony is that they have no idea how to make a good cigarettes using this machine. So every day I make them cigarettes and when am preparing everything, this machine, filters and tobacco, am feeling like a drug addict preparing for his s*it. I swear, this is crazy. How is it possible that the only non smoking freaking person in my house, (ME!!!) is the only one who knows how to make cigarettes!!?? So every day like half hour of my life is going on this so I have like one  thought in my head:“I should start smoking!“

I mean, why not, am good at making them anyway. I could also buy smoking pipe and be cool like Popay. Except eating spinach. I hate spinach.

So there you go, when I start smoking, mom and brother, you know who to blame. Let me help you, it is not me! :)

But all this make me thing about things we do all the time, and we sure as hell don't want to do them. My mom would always tell me that is part of growing up, to do the things you don't want to do. So that's it, am done with being adult and with growing up because it sucks! Why can't we all be like Peter Pan. Always be kids and play. Plus, that dude can fly. How cool is that??

I want to fly too. Maybe I can, who knows. If you ask few of my exes they would tell you that am a witch. Maybe if I sit on my broom I would fly!? Well, screw it, am drinking Red Bull, if that doesn't give me wings, I don't know what will. Either that, or am searching for my broom.

CHEERS-TO NEW BEGINNINGS

So it past a year since my best friend Edy moved out from Mostar to live in Italy with her boyfriend. And lot of things have changed in that year. Except one thing. I miss her every day, and that will never change. We've been together trough it all. Ups and downs, holding each other's hands and not letting either of us fall down.

And now, all we can actually do is thank God on technology we have so we are able to stay in touch. So at first, she was happy, she and her boyfriend were working out and I was so happy for her. She manage to found some job, but she changed them a lot.
On the other side, I didn't have any relationship, I was working some job I wasn't happy with and just hanging out with friends and family, and I was feeling little bit down. I mean, I was doing ok, but something was missing in my life.
Just one year latter, everything changed. They broke up, she moved out, found some place in Milan and she is staying there with roommates. She is dealing with break up, with emotions and she is in a freaking emotional rollercoaster and all I can do is just give her words of encouragement, when all that I want is to deal with it like we always did when one of us had breakup. Go out and get drunk.

On the other side of the world, my situation has changed for better in a year. I meet some new interesting people, am happy with my job and my life is going on a good path. That void I felt year ago is gone now.
Funny how this life works out. In just one year, your whole life can change, and all you can really do is cross your fingers and hope for the best.
All that made me think about beginnings. How many times we build something, we invest everything in it, our hope, dreams, emotions, time and effort and how many times we all have to stay and watch it all crashing down in ashes? And in all that heartbreaking, pain and emotional break down, we still need to find strength to start over. From scratch. And how many times we all felt tired from beginnings? Because after awhile, you really can't see the point. But still, we get up and try. We have friends and family that push us even when we can't do it by ourselves. And day by day, you even don't notice that you're moving forward, you're building your life again from ground zero and once again, you hope that this time it will work out for the best. That this was the last crash and last beginning.
We all know that life doesn't work out always like we wanted it to work. We all have our ups and downs and I think that while we are alive, we will always have new beginnings. We will always have to learn how to do something new. One day you will get married and that is a new beginning, you will become parent, and that is one new beginning too. You will quit your job or get fired and you'll find another job, and in it you will meet other people and that is a new start too.
You see, life is full of new beginnings and even though it is rough sometimes, we don't have to be afraid of them because if in those moments we are not alone, if we have someone who is always there for us, we can found ourselves very lucky.
I guess what am trying to say to my friend and to all of you out there, just hang on. Things can change for the better in just one day, Just hang on tight and you will be fine.

P.S. My lovely friend Edy, I love you very much. I believe in you, and am always here for you. What ever you are feeling now, just know that you are strong and he is the one losing the best damn thing that ever happen to him <3

IF YOU ARE OVER-THINKER...GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK

Are you one of the persons who always overthink everything, even small things? Are you anxious about future, or do you worry that your plans won't turn up the way you wanted? And even when things are going good, you are still waiting for something that will throw you out of balance?

If your are, don't worry. You are not the only one. Am like that too. And thousand other people are dealing with it as well. I always worry about things that I shouldn't and about things that I should. Big or small, if it concerns me, I will be worry. But, there is a bright side to all of this. I found a way to coup with it, and so can you.

So here are some techniques that helped me, so maybe they can help you guys too. If not, just find something else that can work on you. To help you deal with your overthinking mind.

1. BREATH

Simple as that. We live very fast that we sometimes forget how to breath normal. I had that problem too. So step by step during the day, when I would feel that am breathing fast or that am tense, I would focus my attention to my breathing. No matter where I was, I would found some corner where I could just stop for a second, shut my eyes and I would inhale trough my nose deeply and then exhale trough my mouth. I would repeat that for three times and I would already feel tension leaving my body and my mind clearing a bit. When you do that more often during days, your body and mind starts to do that automatically. So it helps in a long way.

2. TECHNIQUE 4-7-8

Few mounts ago I found out about this technique of breathing that helps calm and clear your mind. So it is perfect for overthinking people and it helps even if you have problem sleeping, then you just do it in a bed, when you're snuggled in nicely and when you close your eyes. So technique 4-7-8 is working like this. You are inhaling trough your nose and in your mind you are counting to 4. Then you hold your breath while you are counting from the beginning again but this time to 7. Then you exhale trough your mouth again counting from the beginning to 8. You repeat this 3-4 times and you will notice that your mind is getting more calmer each time you do that technique.

3. SIX MOUNTS FROM NOW

When am feeling nervous because of something or when am overthinking some problem that I have at this moment, I just ask my self a question: Will this matter to me in 6 mounts?

Believe it or not, my answer in most if not in every case is NO! We sometimes have a habit of making problems where there aren't any. Me for example, am very good at that. So if your answer to 6 month question is NO, then just let it go. Replace that thought with new one, with positive one and hang on.

4. BE ACTIVE

I don't know for you guys, but am not much of a fitness girl and am not into all day exercising in a gym. But in those times when your mind is going to explode from overthinking, staying active and on the move really helps. So what I do is put on my sneakers and I walk for a long time. I don't know why, but there is something motivating and calming at the same time in putting my leg in front of the other. You can go running or what ever is good for you. Just keep moving.

5. YOU CAN'T CONTROL EVERYTHING

It's good to remind yourself that from time to time. Not everything is in our control and sometimes all that we can do is just relax and see what will happen. Basically, there is a rule that goes like this: If you can fix it, then why worry? And if you can't fix it, then why worry in that case too?

And it makes sense doesn't it? If you can fix it you will, and there is no problem. And if you can't, it is not up to you then and in that case you being worried won't help you. Being worry about future will ruin your present.

6. DO SOMETHING FUN

Go out with friend, or spend time with family. Go have some sex for God sake, or just read a book or watch some movie. Do something that will take your mind of every day problems and don't forget to take day by day, step by step and you will be fine.

I read the other day that intelligent people often overthink things, so if nothing else, find comfort in that and good luck to you all. And don't forget to breath. :)

OPEN LETTER TO MY FUTURE DAUGHTER

I was thinking about the world we live in today. The world in which girls exaggerate in feminism, because in my opinion there is really not a big problem if I can feel like a lady next to my man. Feel free to hold a door for me or a chair so that I can sit down. A feminist in me won't be offended. This world is one in which men have forgotten how to be men and gentlemen. It seems to me that somehow the roles of men and women changed beyond recognition, I sometimes don't know if this is good or bad. I look at my younger cousin struggling with relationship problems with her boyfriend who doesn't know how to behave like a man, and therefore, he doesn't know how to treat her like a lady. I tried to give her advice, but she doesn't listen. And why should she? She must make her own mistakes to learn the rules of the game of life and love. To be honest, in her age I didn't listen to anyone either. Then I asked myself: "What if one day I had a daughter?"

I was thinking about the issue, because I was curious how will she cope with these problems and with life in general? I've been thinking a bit about what I'd like for her to know and I finally found the answer to these questions. So therefore, this is a public letter to my future daughter.

My darling,

Never, ever say "never" - Because with that statement at the same time you are challenging God and destiny. It's like in the movies when they say in despair: "Can it be worse?" And then something worse happens. You never know where life can take you, what is out there waiting for you and the things you think now you wouldn't do, doesn't mean that you won't want or need to do them in a few months.

What you can't change, endure! - You'll understand in time sweetie, you can't control everything in life. Sometimes things get out of control and that's quite okey. In such moments sit, make yourself coffee, eat bunch of chocolate, sing your favorite song, breathe deeply and believe that everything will turn out well. Let your life happen to you and have a little faith.

Do not let broken heart break down your spirit! – It is the question of time, but you certainly won't be able to prevent it. All of us get our heart broken by someone at least once in life. If you're lucky just once. Your mother was a jinx so she had to deal with broken heart three times, but there you go, I survived. I know you'll be in on the emotional roller coaster in those moments but the main key to survival is too not allow the pain to break your spirit. Don't let the pain define you , because you're not weak, because I raised you. And like my mom said to me long time ago, in our blood line, there is no weak woman.

Time really cures all! -Okey, I know this sounds corny, but it really is so. Am not saying that you will forget that asshole who hurt you, because you won't, but it will hurt less. Will remain a scar and may sometimes hurts like any wound from time to time, only this type of wound hurts when you hear or see something that reminds you on that war you survived, but the intensity is not the same. Give yourself time and trust me, you'll be fine.

Love yourself just the way you are - This is the most important thing I wanted you to learn. You're beautiful, strong, worth a lot and don't let no one says it's different. While growing up, I will try to teach you that but later on, you need to observe these lesson and never doubt in it. You can do everything if you put some effort in it.

If someone doesn't deserve you, leave immediately! - If you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't fight for you, and who doesn't value you and doesn't love you the way you deserve, if you're with someone who wants you to change, and who doesn't support you, turn around and leave, no turning back. Learn how to respect yourself enough to know when you deserve better.

Related to this previously, this follows -if he can live without you, you can live without him too! - Very simply, who doesn't need you, you don't need him either.

Carefully choose your battles and wars! - It will be lots of battles and wars in life, some you get and some you lose and it's okey. But sometimes you need to know when to give up, when someone or something is not worth your struggle nor your time. Carefully pick your battles sweetie. Sometimes even being in peace is more worth then being right.

ALWAYS be nice! - Everyone has their battles and their problems. Someone doesn't know how to hide them and keep them so that others can see, and some of them hide problems behind a big smile. In any case, always be nice, always smile when you meet some friend, because you never know, maybe your smile can make someone's day.

Don't judge people! –You don't know why somebody did what he did. You never know what internal battles that person leads and don't know his reasons. What I have learned that not everything is as it seems, is not all black or white, sometimes there is a little bit of gray color too. Only when you walk the miles in someones shoes, then you might be able to understand his actions and reasons, and until then don't judge.

Happiness really is a matter of choice! - It is not nobody's business to make you happy, happiness is a matter of choice and it is on you. Problems don't define you as a person, but how are you dealing with them does. The problems and obstacles that you find in life build character and don't hide from them, deal with them. But no matter what if you know how to look in the right direction, you will found reasons to be happy. Just because you have a roof over your head, you're not thirsty, not hungry and do not walk barefoot, you're alive and well and have a family that loves you is a good reason to be happy! Happiness is in the detail, in small and seemingly unimportant things. Things that we usually take for granted. Go out with a friend, gossip a little, it is a cure for everything. There is you luck.

Do not neglect your friends! I believe you'll sometimes be so madly in love that you want to be just with him, but resist it. Don't neglect life you built before him and friends who love you. The life is an important balance. Find the way to keep that balance. Because guys come and go, but friends remain with you trough life.

If you have at least one true friend, you're happy! Life can be tough sometimes, but in such times if you have one friend, one sincere friend that if you would say you killed a man, she/he would have asked where and take a shovel and start digging with you, if you find that one friend who knows all the best and worst in you and still loves you and keeps your back no matter what, know that you are lucky. And take care of that friendship.

You'll have people in life that you are not blood related, and yet they will be your family! Or at least I hope it will happen to you. Because you see my darling, there will be friends in your life that will be just like your family even though you don't share the same DNA.

Educated, finish college, CREATE YOUR LIFE! - Do not rush into marriage, all in good time. Go to school, live your student days. In order to be a good wife and mother, first you have to establish yourself as a person and you have to stand on your feet. Be happy with yourself, with what you achieve, and then you will be able to settle down with one person you choose.

Learn from your mistakes! Don't be afraid to make a mistake. How are you going to learn differently? Anyway, in the end, when all this is over, mistakes become the best memories.

When you make some decisions, do not make them hasty! I want you to understand that every decision you make, you have to live with it for the rest of your life. So be careful that the final decision is one with which you will be able to live without regret and without looking back.

Do not take life too seriously! - I know, sometimes it is impossible, sometimes things have to be taken seriously, serious as a heart attack, but don't forget to relax from time to time, enjoy a little. Anyway, none of us will make it alive from this world anyway.

AND FINALLY, THE LAST BUT NOT LESS IMPORTANT - Know that no matter what, at any of your mistakes, decisions, know that I will always love you unconditionally. Even if I don't agree with your decision, I will respect them and be your support because I will believe in you even when you are full of doubt.

With love,

Your future mom.

18 THINGS I'VE LEARNED IN MY 25 YEARS OF LIFE

Two mounts ago I turned 25. My first thought was: "God, am getting old!". And before the day turned into a mess full of people, greeting cards and noise, I sat down with myself, poured a glass of wine and began to think about what I have achieved in these 25 years of my life and in the end, did I learned something from my mistakes, ups and downs. Am getting older, but am I getting any wiser? Have I learned anything from life? Because in the end, that school is the most important. So here are 18 lesson I have learned so far:

1. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS

You've heard it before. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is. Trust your inner voice and trust yourself.

2. EVERYONE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THEMSELVES

That is true. This does not mean that you do not ask someone for advice or for help because there is no shame in that. We can not always do everything all alone, but do not forget that you make your own decisions. You play with those cards that life gave to you and it's called destiny, but the way you will play the round is yours decision and it's called free will. Therefore, no one to blame for your mistakes, your moves. Don't even blame yourself, because if you never do something wrong, how are you going to learn?

3. TRUST DEEDS AND NOT JUST WORDS

Really, words without actions means nothing. If someone says he/she loves you and does not show it, do not believe him/her. Words lie, but never acts.

4. IF SOMEONE SHOWS HIS TRUE FACE TO YOU, TRUST HIM

This applies to all, good and bad. Everyone has their flaws and makes mistakes, but you can always recognize someone who grasps you for granted and if he/she show that to you, don't look excuses for that person, but trust him/her, turn around and leave. Without looking back. You deserve better.

5. LET IT GO

If you can not influence on something, if you can not change it, then endure because you should know that will pass. And if you can solve something then do it. So being concern makes no sense. Nothing last forever. 

6. LIVE IN THE PRESENT

I know, I know. It is easier said then done, but regardless at least try. You are done with your past. And future is so far away. So live in present, because if you are thinking about the past or worry because of the future, you are not able to enjoy the present, and in that way you are missing so many beautiful moments. Remember, time flies really fast, enjoy.

7. LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES

Don't repeat them. Your personal growth depends on it.

8. NO REGRETS

No regrets for anything. Because if at least once someone brought you joy, then it was worth it. Because we all know, good experience carries the memories and bad ones give you lesson. Life is too short to spend it on self-pity or to complain for something that you can't change.

9. THAT'S LIFE

Good and bad happens to everyone. Maybe sometimes you do not deserve it, maybe there is something called karma, but all comes down to this. That's life. It doesn't play fair and it play rough from time to time, but still the truth is it has its moments and sometimes we love life more then he loves us.

10. THE CHOICE IS YOURS

Are you going to be fighter or are you going to drown in self-pity is up to you. You can always take a stand and instead of asking: "Why always me?" you can just say: "Try me!"

11. DAY BY DAY

Patience was never my virtue. I remember when my mother first told me: "Sun can't shine before dawn. Live day after day! Be patient" I never knew what she was trying to say, but now, years after I finally get it. So be patient. What is yours, will come to you in its own time.

12. BE THANKFUL

Be thankful for everyone who is in your life. And for everything that you have but you take it for granted. You have people who love you. You woke up healthy, you have food on your table, roof over your head and you have clothes to wear. Do you know how many people don't have all that?

13. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

What looks random to you, actually it is the perfect plan. Every mistake, every tear, every person who enters and leaves your life, is not a coincidence. Everything that happens to you in life is to teach you something. Learn from it and move on.

14. MEDITATE

Meditate, read a book, go for a walk or do what ever relaxes you. In every day, take at least 10 minutes just for yourself. I don't care how busy you are, you can always take 10 minutes just for you. Believe me, your soul and brain will be thankful to you.

15. BE CAREFUL WITH THE DECISION

Always remember one thing. Never make the decision late at night because morning is really smarter then night, and never do things in anger because you will regret it. Remember, when making some decision in life, be sure that it is the one you can live with.

16. BE POSITIVE

Don't let others bad energy bring you down. Take care of yourself and take care of your inner peace.

17. RELATIONSHIP

The most important relationship that you will ever have is one with yourself. Because, lets face it, you are in a relationship with yourself as long as you can remember. Take care of that relationship because it is foundation to every relationship that you will have with other people.

18. JUST BREATH

Take a few deep breaths. Everything that is bothering you will pass. You are stronger then you think. You are doing just fine. Breathe and keep in mind one thing: You can do it! Forgive everything to yourself, forgive others and just keep moving. Day by day, step by step.